Appreciation Coaching - Why it Works
Did you know that children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative feedback comments by the age of 10 compared to their neurotypical peers? Ouch! Now, imagine the proportion of negative to positive comments in the investment banking industry. While I don't know the exact ratio, I suspect it would evoke a similar "ouch" feeling.
Last week, I led a workshop for a private equity firm on giving and receiving feedback. I asked participants to practice offering positive feedback to their team members on the spot, at their tables. The result was an unexpected “feel-good” moment, and afterward, participants asked each other, “Why don’t we do this more often?”
What is Appreciation Coaching?
Put simply, it is giving someone positive feedback that is specific and sincere, and therefore instructive and motivating on what to keep doing.
Why Engage in Appreciation Coaching?
Boosts Motivation and Confidence
Praise triggers a dopamine response, motivating people to repeat the positive behavior.
It’s Instructive
Positive feedback is just as informative as negative feedback. It tells someone, “Yes, that’s valuable! Do more of that!”
Improves Engagement, Retention, and Reduces Burnout
In fast-paced environments, employees often receive little to no recognition for their achievements but receive quick feedback on mistakes. Without balance, they feel undervalued and are more likely to leave.
Builds Relationships
When people feel their strengths and efforts are recognized, they’re more likely to trust you and your intentions, even in difficult situations.
Let Steve Kerr, coach of the Golden State Warriors, convince you. Watch this one-minute video where Kerr demonstrates the power of appreciation coaching with Steph Curry on the court.
How to Do It?
Be Specific
Instead of vague compliments like “great job,” highlight specific actions or behaviors. For example:
“I didn’t have the bandwidth to focus on this pitch and needed you to step in. Your ability to organize the team and keep them focused on what mattered was crucial in winning the mandate.”
Be Sincere
Empty praise can be harmful, as it confuses the recipient and dilutes future genuine feedback. Ensure that your comments reflect what you truly think.
Be Timely
While feedback doesn’t need to be literally immediate, delivering it while the effort is still fresh strengthens the connection between the effort and the feeling of accomplishment.
Offering appreciation feedback still takes thought, but it requires far less emotional energy than giving negative feedback. In fact, you’ll likely experience a positive emotional boost from it, making it a win-win situation. After any significant effort, take a moment to reflect on what genuine recognition you can offer. Catch them doing something right!