Radical Candor vs. Manipulative Insincerity

There are so many ways to approach the challenge of delivering feedback that it’s exhausting. The truth is it’s just a really hard thing to deliver well, and to receive well.

Of all the models, the one that I find the most straightforward (fittingly) is the concept of radical candor, popularized by Kim Scott. Kim describes how we have been confused by learning that in the professional world we are supposed to be, well “professional”, and polite. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” – can then become “if you don’t have anything nice to say, lie to the person’s face and then tell everyone else how shitty their work is!”

Kim’s version of radical candour is at the intersection between when you care personally and challenge directly. See the image attached to this article for illustration. This is not a license to be an asshole (actually I just heard a great quote of hers on the topic of what to do with bad-behaving high performers: “It’s better to have a hole, than an asshole.”). The care personally part is the genuinely positive intent to help the other person improve. The intent can’t be to punish or shame, which will never serve to improve performance.

In order to build this concept in to your management style, look at the attached image and really ask yourself how often you land in some of the other boxes on the grid.

Personally, in my past career, I placed too high a value on being seen as “nice” and in turn, wasn’t clear enough with others. Just knowing that this is received as “ruinous empathy”, or worse “manipulative insincerity” is motivation to have the courage to be honest + kind.